The Playful Parents | The Playful Parents

February 20, 2013
by theplayfulparents
4 Comments

The Story Behind A SAHM’s Net Worth

The inspiration, or rather impetus, for this particular blog linky ‘My Net Worth as SAHM’, came from a not-so-pretty place. A place of indignation, frustration, and perhaps, rage.

The seed for this celebration of Motherhood in the Home was a thorny one sown into my heart last December. Outrage would be quite apt in describing my reaction to a suggestion by a female high-ranking Singapore Minister that more ought to be done to encourage women to get back into the workforce, and the suggestion for schools to stay open till 7 pm so more could do so. More than outraged, I was disturbed that a fellow mother would be making such suggestions that seemed to treat children as entities rather than individuals that can be easily managed through ‘proper’ channels’, and the idea that parenthood is merely just an economic endeavor.

Then, just this month in the hot debates over the White Paper on Population 2030, another female Minister, who is a young mother of 3, including a 3-month-old baby, made another comment that women who stay home to look after the elderly and children represent a significant labour pool that needs to be tapped to aid our flailing economy.

Her words, verbatim : We have also the homemakers who take care of the elderly and the young children at home. How do we attract them back into the workforce?

Now, these comments by our female MPs, who are mothers themselves, really made me wonder about a few things:

How does our society really value family?
How does our society think of parenting, and children?
Does being a parent mean earning enough to keep our children well-fed, well-clothed and access to education?
What about filling their emotional and spiritual tanks?

And what really got my goat was, and is still, these:
The mention of SAHMs within the context of the pressing need of addressing labour crunch and increasing GDP.

Seriously, MUST EVERYTHING WE DO be measured in terms of:

economic value
productivity
GDP

Now, I am NO political activist and have NO wish to spark off or engage in any form of policy debate (even though I have more than a few issues with the White Paper on Population).

However, I have a burning desire to speak up for the children, other stay-home mothers and all other women who may be deliberating the decisions of either having a child or staying home for their children.

I believe that Motherhood is MORE than just about popping out babies for our country, and then working to pay for someone else to have the responsibility and privilege of raising our children.

Please do NOT get me wrong. This is also NOT about how all of us women ought to be SAHMs or that SAHMs are better moms than Working Moms.

It is NONE of that.

This is simply a platform I hope to create for all Moms who have chosen Domestic over Corporate life to share what their lives are really about.

Because I believe there is so much misunderstanding about what moms who stay home really do.
Because I believe that we CANNOT qualify the importance and worth of every endeavor using money.
Because I believe being a mother is MORE than just providing for our children’s physical and intellectual well-being. Because I believe that when our economy and society learns to respect and value the place of family, the quality of work and life will improve immeasurably.

Please link up and share YOUR story if:

You’re a woman who’s been greatly touched by the presence of a SAHM
You’re a woman who’s chosen to trade your career and financial independence to be a SAHM
You’re a woman who’s found the balance between being home for the family and your personal ambitions e.g. WAHM
You’re someone who believes in the value of having a mom at home

Just click on the badge below to link up to your Net Worth As $AHM story!

May 18, 2013
by theplayfulparents
1 Comment

Life’s A Beach On The East Coast Of Singapore

TGIF! As often as possible, we have been meeting our group of Homeschooling Families on Fridays just for kids to play and moms to chill.

This Friday, most of our group went for the Navy Open House and there was supposed to be no meet-ups until my lovely friend, M, texted me late Thursday night to ask if we wanted to go to East Coast Beach for fishing and prawning.

Well, of course, I jumped on the offer but I didn’t get the promo coupons for the fishing ($8 for an hour instead of $12) as I thought my boys wouldn’t be interested. Alas! They changed their minds when we were at the Fishing place by Playground @ Bog Splash.

At $12 for an hour of splashing and trying to catch the port little hapless fishies in the small artificial ‘longkangs’ ( drains) is too costly for me.
Plus there was already a school group of shrieking kids rushing about in there.

So this time round I had to put up with their pleas and try distracting them with the prawning our friends were there to do.

It wasn’t easy at all to catch any prawns or lobsters.First you had to put some slimy chopped up chicken liver onto the hook.

And you had to patiently stand by and wait for the clawed creature to bite.

Our eager kiddos, 5 and 3,kept pulling and shaking the rod.A man at the same pond caught two lobsters within 15 minutes.

And us? One little prawn. That was right after the four little eager bunnies trooped off to find the uncle-who-caught-two-lobsters for help.

On hindsight, longkang fishing is definitely more suitable for the young kids because it offers more immediate gratification than prawning which requires much more patience.

If you go there with your spouse, you could choose to let the fish nibble off your dead skin while your kid chases the fish.

After our prawning expedition, we
skatescooted to the Road Safety Park. I was last there as a 11 year old.

I was surprised to see good old Courtesy-Begins-With-Me mascot lion , Singa, welcoming us.

As you can see from the map below, the park isn’t all that big but still, a charming comprehensive miniature of the real roads outside- complete with gas station and convenience stall, SBS Transit bus shelters, mini roads and even a pedestrian overhead bridge!

The park was very quiet and the traffic signals were not turned on. But we still had some fun going around the place. Traffic signs and directional traffic norms ignored.

After the kids tired of the scooting, which didn’t take too long under the noon sun, my boys begged to go to the beach proper.

Why getting all sandy and dirty and sandy is so attractive to them, I cannot fathom. I found us a lovely shady spot a pebble’s toss away from the exit of Road Safety Park, towards Big Splash. The waters looked remarkably blue to me. Clear blue skies smeared with white clouds. Cool sea breeze. Gentle rhythm of breaking waves. Quiet, calm and happy children.

What is there not to love about life?

For the first time in weeks, my boys and I enjoyed a whine-free and fight-free day. Miraculous. And I think the
ONLY reason how we managed to achieve this was that we were just simply out of the house and in the outdoors where they could run and be free. No walls to bounce off. No artificial plastic play equipment.

Just lots of air and sky and open space.

I really need to get out a lot more with my boys.

This weekend, instead of the mall or indoor playgrounds, how about a trip out where the sun may touch your skin and insects may buzz?

And I wonder, what goodness have you and your children enjoyed from just being in Nature?

May 11, 2013
by theplayfulparents
0 comments

Essential Style Tips for Every Busy Mom

Because I know you are real busy like me, I’ve condensed all the goodies The Lovely Lady of Style Essence, Flo, shared into these snappy lists.

These are the BEST EVER TIPS every busy ( and also lazy like me) moms can have to a FASTER, CHEAPER, BETTER way of maintaining (or salvaging) her youthful good looks. Seriously, I’ve learnt that doing the little everyday goes a long way. According to my calculations, it is definitely cheaper, safer and thus, better to spend a bit more now on the good quality skincare products than have to redirect investments to costly Botox and ~~plastic surgery~~ aesthetic treatments in the future.

ESSENTIAL TIPS For Skincare

Wash your face properly with a good product daily! Don’t be lazy because the grime that gets stuck to your skin makes it hard for it to absorb any good stuff you slap on after.
Sunblock is vital! Sun damage is hard to reverse.
Rub Them On Right!
I never knew there was a right and wrong way of applying products to my face. I am always just slapping and ‘buah’-ing (rubbing) the stuff on in little circles, upward…. WRONG!

HOW TO RUB
• Facial cleanser: Little circular movements upward to properly cleanse pores
• Moisturiser: Circular upward movements
• Sunblock: Apply outward so it doesn’t clog your pores
• Make-up e.g. Foundation: Downward applications to smooth the fine facial hairs down do you have a better finish

Wow! Revelation!

Now, if you need some visual tutorial on HOW TO WASH YOUR FACE RIGHT, check out Irene‘s, my fellow SMB mate, video of guinea-pig me struggling to follow Beauty Guru Flo. Click on the link below.

WATCH VIDEO: The Right Way to Wash Your Face

ESSENTIAL Styling Tips

1. First,find your Colour tone.

I never could manage to figure out if I had skin that was warm or cool.

But here was an easy trick I learnt:

Go stand in front of the mirror with two scarves: a brown ( warm tone) and a black (cool tone).
Drape each scarf around your top , one at a time, and see which one makes you look more alive or dead.
The Colour that makes you look more alert is your Colour family.

Some can take both.

Fortunately I can else I would have to spend web more money changing my wardrobe.

Gorgeous Style Coach Flo with SMB Founder Rachel demonstrating how to find out if you are ‘Warm’ or ‘Cool’.

2. Figure Yourself Out

You have to get your shape right. I don’t mean hit the gym but understand what face and body shape you are.

This is so crucial because…you’ve guessed it! Looking good is pretty much about being clever with creating visual illusions!

There are many face and body shapes and whichever you are, a few clever tricks and you will be off to looking always stunning!

We each got personal tips on what hair style would suit our face shape and clothes for our body shape.

I was glad Flo gave us all a handy card with the types of clothes that would flatter my body shape cos I know I cannot trust myself to remember it all!

3. Work Your Make-Up and Wardrobe Around Your Colour Palette

After you get figured out, it is time to play with Colour.

So, red is not just red. Brown isn’t just brown. Even white isn’t just white! see all the variety we get in this world!

If that it’s enough to excite you, you must learn about the classes of Colour:
Primary , Secondary ( eh, not sure about Tertiary though).

Basically the chart below tells you whether it is okay to mix and match the different types of colors.

There are shades within that one single Colour family like orange that you will look fine matching.

Colours adjacent to each other are fine too.

An arresting but still attractive scheme would be colors on the opposite of each other.

Anything else…. Please consult a professional stylist like Florinda or a yummy mummy cos my knowledge ends here .

4. Accessorize!

I love this tip! It doesn’t have to bust your bank to update or up-style your wardrobe.

Flo gave us some of her fave accessorizing tips that give you the INSTANT GLAM without busting your bank account.

Flo’s Shopping Tips for BIG Style SMALL Money

* Invest in nice scarves (NOT pashimina styles)
* Necklaces are the way to go in adding that instant pizazz to your entire outfit. (I tried it and it is true!) Costume jewellery included.

( Yes, it is true – there are SOME things in life that can be good yet affordable)

In case you missed the Evidence of My Transformation, hop over here.

Disclaimer: I was invited to this complimentary image consulting workshop by Style Essence but all opinions are 100% my own, as are my eye bags, wrinkles, dehydrated skin and all evidence of a neglected appearance.

This wonderful experience was made possible by

May 10, 2013
by theplayfulparents
0 comments

What Money Can Buy

And so because my husband has this habit of always buying me something for special occasions, I thought that for once I ought to take an active step to help reduce his expenditure on trying to make me happy.

So when he stumbled home late two nights ago from work, stumbling from pure fatigue and not alcohol, I put him into a corner about his intention this Mother’s Day.

Me: So how much money do you want to give me this Mother’s Day? ( You see, I told him last year after he get me some-I-can’t-recall-what-present that I think cash would be better.)

Husband: (chokes on saliva, jolted from zombified state) Er…What? (flashes a saccharine smile) But I have already given you my heart, all I have is yours and you know, there are just some
things money can’t buy.

Me (pausing to think): Hmm, true. But it can buy my sanity.

And there was silence…
Then laughter and an agreement.
Now, I just have to wait and see.

While we wait to see what appears in my ‘Ang Pow’ on Sunday, want to guess how I plan to buy my sanity?

Just Saying This On

May 6, 2013
by theplayfulparents
0 comments

If Pandas Were Stylish…

So would I!
See My Panda Eyes?
Yup, I’m A Mum…

Fortunately for me, I married a man who isn’t too particular about appearances and attire. However that doesn’t mean that I am also free to run about looking like a totally dishevelled and unkempt woman thought I believe I do have every reason to be excused for my frightful lack of ‘style’.

I just have to face facts. I have a long way to go before I will ever attain Yummy Mummyhood, if ever in this lifetime.

But as some kind fellow moms have lovingly pointed out, it is far better to make a feeble attempt at self-grooming than none at all.

My Half-Masked Face & Freshly Scrubbed Plump Lips @ Style Essence Workshop

Have you heard it said that there are no ugly women just lazy ones.

*Head of frizzy hair bobs vigorously*

While it is painful to admit I am lazy, but I so like that at least these stylists have the faith that ALL women can look beautiful… With some work of course , and I don’t mean plastic surgery. Just some daily care of the skin, tapping into the magic of make-up and being clever with shopping.

Yes, so I shall confess now that I am one of those lazy women. Deluded even, thinking that I still have age on my side.

But who am I kidding?

Every Busy Mom Can Look Good!

So anyway when Florinda, my fellow Singapore Mom Blogger, who runs Style Essence, offered a complimentary session to us as part of the ‘SMB Turns 1′ celebrations, I had to drag myself off my bum and go!

And I was sure glad I did!

This was not the first time I attended such sessions but it was the first time I ever gleaned a whole kit-ful of practical tips that I ,yes! lazy and procrastinating I, actually put all I learnt into practice almost immediately!

Florinda being a regular mom of two herself understands the busy schedule and much-divided attention all of us regular moms face. I loved that though she is a beautiful, poised and well-groomed mom, Flo did not once look ar me disdainfully or employ any of the tactics cosmetic counter girls seem to love to use- you know, that awful guilt-tripping, make-you-feel-so-bad-about-your-nose full of blackhead and skin so dry routine?

Phew!

For once, I left a personal grooming session armed with the confidence, courage and resolve to MAKE MYSELF LOOK GOOD!

Thus far I have probably achieved at least 21 days of proper skin care and make-up since I stepped out of Flo’s class.

Don’t laugh but I really am that lazy girl who can’t even commit to smacking on lip gloss and have had the same lipstick lying around , looking new, for 10 years?

So well, I am very proud to tell you that I have been:
- Cleansing and Moisturising my face for almost every day and night for the past 30 days

- Wearing make-up almost daily ( and while on holiday in Taiwan too!)

- Making effort to dress better other than be in my usual Tee and shorts

The Results have been (at risk of sounding ridiculous… But trust me, they are all true)

1. Hubby taking me out that VERY same weekend after class to buy me new dresses

2. Me getting compliments of ‘ You look beautiful!’ and ‘ So glam!’.

Compliments always boosts one’s ego la… And fuels the urge to keep working hard! Lol!

So for this Mother’s Day, I thought I should share with you all beautiful, self-sacrificing moms the simple secrets to achievable DAILY beauty and style tips I gleaned from Flo.

And Oh! In case you were curious, this is how I looked by the end of the workshop:

From Bleah to Better!
Photo Courtesy of Rachel, Catch 40 Winks

April 22, 2013
by theplayfulparents
1 Comment

Values & Change Begins With The Books We Read

Not too long ago, Singapore society faced a little intense debate over the possibility of gay sexual relations being decriminalised (repeal of 377A). Various communities voiced their convictions passionately and intensely.

The key question that underpinned all the community debates on what each thought ought to be the most appropriate stance of the society at large was probably this:

Is Singapore ready to embrace the existence of same-sex and non-traditional gender relationships and hence, welcome , if not tolerate, families with alternative parental make-up ie LGBT in the future?

It would seem that the answer to that is a resounding ‘No’ as the appeal to repeal 377A was denied, and our Prime Minister himself stated after that our society is just not ready.

However, as life and reality works, it seems that the BIGGER force and influence at play that may effect more significant change in social values and attitudes would be through the good old use of literature.

After all, are we not all the products of what we read (or view)?

Books have an extraordinary power to imbue us with ideas. There is something about having an idea printed on actual paper- all properly typeset and bound- that seems to validate it.

And what more, if a book is available on the shelves of a nation’s public library, funded by taxpayers’ money.

So maybe it doesn’t really matter what the courts of law and our government says of Same-Sex relationships.

Just look at what the children books found on the shelves in our National Library has to say.

And oh! Just a random thought: If 377A still stands and gay sex is still criminalised, does it also mean gay marriage are also illegal? Thus, is such literature also considered illegal?

March 29, 2013
by theplayfulparents
0 comments

A Hope That Never Fails Nor Disappoints {Guest Post}

Today is Good Friday. A day for Christians to remember the sacrifice our Lord Jesus Christ for us on the Cross. A sacrifice He bore willingly in spite of the enormity of pain. A pain He sooner took upon Himself than to see us lost to darkness, forever estranged from the Father.

He who was there before the beginning of time humbled Himself, and subjected himself to the cold, callous hands of Humanity – those He created.

Yes, He died for me. He died too for you.

Love so divine. What are we to do when we are embraced by such love?

Rachel of Catch 40 Winks, founder of Singapore Mom Bloggers, and a dear friend of mine shares how her love for the Divine has shaped the way she lives, loves and parents.

A Family life of Faith

Faith for me has been a simple thing to learn, yet profound. It is profound in the way I need to live it to be able to understand it, and I am still learning about my faith.

My Journey of Faith

The search for self purpose have been tumultuous and confusing growing up in a divorced family. I was always searching for the reason of my existence. Why am I created, what is the purpose of my life?

I always thought that not being brilliant in anything in my growing up years, gave me a mediocre existence as a student. And that same mediocrity went on into adulthood. I was in search of an identity that I hope could be defined by a successful career, recognition or through some other material wants.

Having a child in my life changed all that.

To give birth to a tiny human being, helpless and fully dependent on you for the next 20-25+ year years is an epiphany. Physical dependence may end once they enter into adulthood, but soul ties can never be severed.

If I knew that having a child meant a lifetime of responsibility, I would have insisted that I really did not sign up for this role (pregnancy btw was not planned).

To manage this responsibility for myself is tough enough, what more for another. Not being able to control over many things that happen to this other person made me admit that I truly needed God to be in charged.

It made a lot of sense to me that God created each of us in His own image, each with a specific ministry and He gave us all we will need to do it. Motherhood is one of my key purposes in this life and my priority is to bring up a child to know Him. It is of utmost importance that my husband and I shepherd a child who will build his character, purpose in life and God as the source of his authenticity.

Being in the world, but not of the world

Being a mom made me realized the source of character was not just formed through the experiences I have encountered through life, but can be based on the negative influences and external pressures created by this world.

Seeing a world differing with values, morals getting corrupted with each passing day, made me realize that I cannot bring up a child that is guided by secular morality. He has to be guided by an internal compass, a core belief system of his Creator that holds him accountable for all his actions.

There is a difference between accepting a doctrine from a religion or a church and being committed to the faith, and to Christ. And the difference is making that choice to live an authentic faith in Christ.

No matter what our modern culture tells him, having this faith will give him the ability to listen within himself to stay committed to his core belief system. He cannot let the world tell him or tear him away to its ever-changing standards.

He has to know that living a life of authentic faith is not going to be easy. His core values must be higher than his desire for social acceptance. Is going to be hard to do it on his own, as he needs God to help him. Only with God, he has the power and wisdom in Christ to chose with discernment, to live courageously, peacefully and with integrity.

Teaching Faith to my Child

My child knows that I am not perfect. He even knows that I desperately need and depend on God fully in my life because I tell him about my dependence on God, and how much God loves me. He has noticed that the bible is just about the only book mommy reads, apart from the other storybooks that talk about God.

We talk about the prayers that God answers, and get really excited when prayers for the rain to stop on stormy afternoons get answered.

We often talk about this world. Why disasters happen, why bad things happen to good people, why sometimes children get sick or die and why wars happen. He knows that it is not God that creates this bad things and these things happen because we live in a fallen world.

We have talked about why we can’t place our hope on this ever-changing world, but we can have our hope on our never-changing God, which is same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

We even talk about what we might get to do when we get to heaven. He recently ask me this question about heaven,

“Will God have a Manga Messiah book (Christian Comic Book) for me in heaven? So that I can read next time when I am there?”

“I am sure it will be there, Jesus will be so glad that you love to read about Him!”

Our family live a life of faith simply because we have the assurance that Christ will walk alongside us in this uncertain world and carry us through any storms we will encounter in this life. We are certain that a life with God in charge gives us hope beyond this temporal world, to a life that is eternal.

This is part of an ongoing series at The Playful Parents.

February 25, 2013
by theplayfulparents
2 Comments

Play Singapore! Map The Fun!

In the wake of all the intense early childhood education and Primary One debates that has been taking place in all my online parenting/motherhood/education social groups, I decided that it is a GOOD time to hit the PAUSE button to reconsider WHAT my own parenting beliefs are.

So I did that and I just decided that PLAY and PLAYFULNESS are NOT irresponsible things a parent does for her children.

PLAY and PLAYFULNESS are necessary. Vital. Crucial.
So really, we MUST Play-Play!

For my children’s well-being and mine.

I love this rule I read in a book called ‘Playful Parenting’ by Laurence Cohen sometime back.

So here I am, introducing an all-new project to get all you people out there – Mamas, Papas, Grands or just playful – to help map out ALL the FREE public playgrounds in Singapore. They can be old or new. They can be play systems or fun natural spaces for children and families to just run free.

Please do chip in and pin as many playgrounds as you can around you.
Do add in a short description or link up to a blog post about these playgrounds you pin!

Map A Playground!
Spread the Play-bug!
Play IS Love!
Love to Play!

Come On, Let Play Motivate Us!
Let’s PLAY, SINGAPORE!

February 19, 2013
by theplayfulparents
9 Comments

$AHM: What We’re Really Worth

February 13, 2013
by theplayfulparents
2 Comments

Our Tradition of CNY Family Photos

On the very first day of Chinese New Year, the boys didn’t don their new outfits as the tradition dictates (because Daddy said the outfits were too casual!). Instead they wore Chinese-style outfits from the previous years- the little guy is wearing the very first outfit Grandma bought for Kor Kor when he was a wee 4 m.o. ( NO Kidding! )

The very first thing the boys did when they got dressed was to rush out and grab all the CNY goodies from the main dining table and put on theirs… Yes, Festive Feasting began at breakfast!

This year, we didn’t make it for the usual photo-taking at my mum’s home until the second day. And see below for our CNY family portrait. Ever since my parents moved into this house since 25 years ago, we have been snapping our annual CNY family portraits at this very same corner of the staircase. What has changed over time is the pussy willow display- more elaborate and colorful over time.

Family photographs in the family home. Do you do them as part of your festive traditions too?

Making Wednesday Wonderful With